So last night my 16 year old daughter went out on her first date where her boyfriend actually drove her with no adults.
My first thought is man I am getting old!! My second thought was he better drive 5 under the damn speed limit with my child in his truck. My third thought was she looks so beautiful, I hope they have fun!
My husband and I don't get out together much, due to our lives being about family and quality time with our daughter who will be out on her own in 2 years. So we decided to take the opportunity to go out since our daughter was out on a date.
Now I am a pretty lenient parent for the most part. I have safety rules and other then that I let my daughter make her own choices as she needs to experience mistakes early to not make huge ones that she cant fix later in life. This date was no exception. They had to stay local and be within cell phone service at all times. Now her boyfriend is a great guy. Pretty responsible and very trust worthy. So there aren't to many worries with them being out together alone other then an accident or a break down. So 15 minutes after they left I texted him and let him know that they couldn't go to the main town, that was to far, that they needed to stay in cell phone service, and check in every hour and a half, but other then that I wanted her home by midnight. I thought I was being pretty nice for it being her first time going out alone with him.
This was at 6:00pm...... My husband and I finished dinner and drove home. By this time it is 7:45 and I haven't heard from the lovebirds...... So I figure I will let them go about their date and deal with the telling them they don't get to go out alone for awhile when they return... 7:50 I get a text from her boyfriend apologizing that he just got the text message because he was driving....
Ok So let me stop here for a minute....
If I texted you 15 minutes after you left and the diner that you are going to is less then 10 minutes away, then how were you driving when I texted you??!! And how did it take you almost 2 hours to respond when the #1 rule was that you needed to be in service? (obviously in service means I can get a hold of you!)
Ok, back to the story at hand. After he texted me almost 2 hours later to apologize, I responded with ' I think it is time for my daughter to head home' and left it at that. He replied with 'on our way.' My husband and I are still driving and I am hoping he drops her off before I get home so that way I don't have to be the mad parent at this point. lol But of course the next text that comes is him asking if it is alright for him to stay or if he has to leave. I don't care if they still hang out I just at this point cant trust them out driving around.. So I say he can stay.
As my husband and I drive into the drive way we now have a huge problem!!! Neither of us want to be the parent that has to go in and deal with the teenagers that didn't follow instructions. HA! Me: I always have to deal with it. It is your turn.. Husband: Just tell them they can hang out but it will be awhile before they go out alone again.. Me: You tell them that... Husband: its easy just walk in and tell them. Me: I don't want to parent today. Husband: me either!!!
We finally get out of the rig and head into the house. Here stands my daughters boyfriend at the door. That's right a 6'7 teenager standing at the door waiting for his lecture for not following rules. ( Did I mention he is a good kid?) So we walk past him and go into the kitchen. You could tell both were waiting for the reaction of them not doing what they were suppose to. You could cut the tension with a knife.. Finally he breaks the silence and says I am really sorry I am kicking myself in the butt right now. So my husband turns to him and says' you can stay until midnight, but you two going out alone wont happen for awhile.'. Her boyfriend turns and says I understand and I am very sorry. The poor guy looks like he wants to cry at this point. So I chirp in and let him know its ok. But for future reference he should know that when I say in cell service I mean that I can get a hold of the two of them! ha.
Have you ever just thought being a parent sucks because you have to make them follow rules that you yourself made??!!! This is a constant thing in my house. My daughter for a 16 year old is a pretty good kid. But there are days where I just want to say I am not mom! Dad you take this one!! :) And most of the time he does!!
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
HELPING HANDS EQUALS SORE TOES
In the world today many are out there that are in need of a little hand up. I am always one that is willing to give and help others in need to get more stable and find their place in this big world.
Last month was no different. I had been talking to this young man that had traveled across the USA on a bus to be closer to his children. When he arrived here he was staying with an acquaintance of mine and about 4 days there she and him had it out and he had nowhere to go.
Being the person I am I cant stand to see anyone with nowhere to go when I have a perfectly good room that is empty. And he did have a job lined up, so he really just needed a place to stay until he was able to get his first check and find a place to crash.
Two nights into his stay here there is a phone call that comes in saying that his children have been taken from their mother and placed into CPS custody.
Now this pulls at my heart strings. I can't stand to see any child hurt, nor scared and in a strange place without their mom or dad. So of course I have to offer my home up for him and the children as needed.
The first week was filled with taking him back and forth to work and then to and from court and the CPS office trying to figure out what can be done to place the children in a safe home. My husband, daughter, and myself all went through background checks and house inspections and completely let CPS invade our private lives to prove that we were ok to be around the children. All was going great and everything was approved. The next step was to look at dad and make sure that his record was clean and then the children would be placed with him in our home.
That Tuesday we get a call and he is informed that due to his point of contacts with police in Virginia that he will have to do a DV assessment before the children could be placed and that they would be doing another meeting to find placement.
So the next week is running him back and froth to work and then back and forth from court and the CPS office. At this point I am a bit stressed out. I am willing to help however all of this is really cutting into my own family budget. And by the end of the week My poor Kia had been ran around so much that the clutch finally gave.. :(
The next week was hard on me. We had finally figured out that the children were not going to be placed with him. We also found out that he had a better chance of getting them placed with him if he were to stay in our home. On top of that I am down one vehicle and having to get up at 330 to 430 depending on if he has work at 5 or 6 am. to take him to work. Just to drive back take my husband to work. and do it all over again at 230 pm. Except nights are way worse due to the difference in off times between my husband and him.
He has had over $200 sent to him by this point and had given me $30 for gas for these two weeks. Spending the rest on Marijuana and Smokes just to ask me for mine when he ran out. I was fine with helping and giving anything I had knowing he hadn't been paid yet and that after payday it would all even out and be less hard on us all.
The day before his payday it is now time to discuss rent and gas. I am not trying to make money off of him. I really want him to get ahead enough that he doesn't have to be in my home or at least gets his own rig so I can have my life back. So I decide to charge him 1/4 of my bills and the gas it costs me to and from work. All of the food and other running around were to be his responsibility.
His first paycheck comes and of course I don't want him to be broke and using up all of my resources, so I only charge him $150 and tell him he can make up the rest next check. Now this covers $50 on rent and then the $100 it would cost in my Kia to take him to and from work. (mind you my Kia is broke down so we are having to use my dodge that is costing a good 30 a day to get everyone where they need to be. And that is with me not going anywhere but dropping them off and picking them up.) His first stop is the pot store. Then off to buy smokes at $10 a pack when you can get them for $3 at the smoke shack. Not my issue it is his money. However by Monday (mind you payday was Friday.) He is broke out of smokes and out of pot and has no money for the extra gas it is costing to take him all the other places he needs to go and no money for food in which he is responsible for. (mind you all month I have fed him out of my families budget. You wouldn't think an extra person would be much more but I have not ate just to make sure my husband daughter and him have food.) He gets money sent to him and of course wants me to take him to the pot store. Now he knows he has visits with his children on Monday and he spent all $40 sent to him on pot and smokes and has no way to take the children to even get them something to drink.
All week he has been taking smokes out of my pack and then kindly letting me know after the fact that he took one. He has smoked all of my stash I had saved and has scraped everything he could to smoke.
Yesterday I was tired of it. I can only help so much before I have to say no. I was down to my last half a pack of smokes. Out of my meds. and over being in a bad spot due to others lack of planning. So I told him I was out of smokes and just chose to not smoke around him. This was at 1pm yesterday. Imagine that I didn't see him the rest of the day. That's right I had nothing else he could take from me! I was finally ready to stick up for myself and make him responsible for his lack of priority.
Today I wake up at 415 as usual to get ready to take him to work and I find a note saying that he has a ride and I can go back to bed. Awesome... Now I am awake for nothing. But the topper of it all is that the house while I was asleep went around and came up with cash for him to get smokes. WHAT???!!!!!!! Here I am stressed out of my mind trying to take care of everyone running myself to the ground have no life because I have to deal with everyone elses schedule and going broke stressing how to do all of this and everyone went and bought him smokes... Am I the only one that sees this as bullshit??!! Lets add that he doesn't even have the courtesy to leave me one knowing that I am out.
Yet today I am expected to take everyone to work go get them and also take him to visit (on my gas btw.) And I am not suppose to be upset.
Just remember when trying to help others out......
HELPING HANDS EQUALS SORE TOES!!!!!!!!
Last month was no different. I had been talking to this young man that had traveled across the USA on a bus to be closer to his children. When he arrived here he was staying with an acquaintance of mine and about 4 days there she and him had it out and he had nowhere to go.
Being the person I am I cant stand to see anyone with nowhere to go when I have a perfectly good room that is empty. And he did have a job lined up, so he really just needed a place to stay until he was able to get his first check and find a place to crash.
Two nights into his stay here there is a phone call that comes in saying that his children have been taken from their mother and placed into CPS custody.
Now this pulls at my heart strings. I can't stand to see any child hurt, nor scared and in a strange place without their mom or dad. So of course I have to offer my home up for him and the children as needed.
The first week was filled with taking him back and forth to work and then to and from court and the CPS office trying to figure out what can be done to place the children in a safe home. My husband, daughter, and myself all went through background checks and house inspections and completely let CPS invade our private lives to prove that we were ok to be around the children. All was going great and everything was approved. The next step was to look at dad and make sure that his record was clean and then the children would be placed with him in our home.
That Tuesday we get a call and he is informed that due to his point of contacts with police in Virginia that he will have to do a DV assessment before the children could be placed and that they would be doing another meeting to find placement.
So the next week is running him back and froth to work and then back and forth from court and the CPS office. At this point I am a bit stressed out. I am willing to help however all of this is really cutting into my own family budget. And by the end of the week My poor Kia had been ran around so much that the clutch finally gave.. :(
The next week was hard on me. We had finally figured out that the children were not going to be placed with him. We also found out that he had a better chance of getting them placed with him if he were to stay in our home. On top of that I am down one vehicle and having to get up at 330 to 430 depending on if he has work at 5 or 6 am. to take him to work. Just to drive back take my husband to work. and do it all over again at 230 pm. Except nights are way worse due to the difference in off times between my husband and him.
He has had over $200 sent to him by this point and had given me $30 for gas for these two weeks. Spending the rest on Marijuana and Smokes just to ask me for mine when he ran out. I was fine with helping and giving anything I had knowing he hadn't been paid yet and that after payday it would all even out and be less hard on us all.
The day before his payday it is now time to discuss rent and gas. I am not trying to make money off of him. I really want him to get ahead enough that he doesn't have to be in my home or at least gets his own rig so I can have my life back. So I decide to charge him 1/4 of my bills and the gas it costs me to and from work. All of the food and other running around were to be his responsibility.
His first paycheck comes and of course I don't want him to be broke and using up all of my resources, so I only charge him $150 and tell him he can make up the rest next check. Now this covers $50 on rent and then the $100 it would cost in my Kia to take him to and from work. (mind you my Kia is broke down so we are having to use my dodge that is costing a good 30 a day to get everyone where they need to be. And that is with me not going anywhere but dropping them off and picking them up.) His first stop is the pot store. Then off to buy smokes at $10 a pack when you can get them for $3 at the smoke shack. Not my issue it is his money. However by Monday (mind you payday was Friday.) He is broke out of smokes and out of pot and has no money for the extra gas it is costing to take him all the other places he needs to go and no money for food in which he is responsible for. (mind you all month I have fed him out of my families budget. You wouldn't think an extra person would be much more but I have not ate just to make sure my husband daughter and him have food.) He gets money sent to him and of course wants me to take him to the pot store. Now he knows he has visits with his children on Monday and he spent all $40 sent to him on pot and smokes and has no way to take the children to even get them something to drink.
All week he has been taking smokes out of my pack and then kindly letting me know after the fact that he took one. He has smoked all of my stash I had saved and has scraped everything he could to smoke.
Yesterday I was tired of it. I can only help so much before I have to say no. I was down to my last half a pack of smokes. Out of my meds. and over being in a bad spot due to others lack of planning. So I told him I was out of smokes and just chose to not smoke around him. This was at 1pm yesterday. Imagine that I didn't see him the rest of the day. That's right I had nothing else he could take from me! I was finally ready to stick up for myself and make him responsible for his lack of priority.
Today I wake up at 415 as usual to get ready to take him to work and I find a note saying that he has a ride and I can go back to bed. Awesome... Now I am awake for nothing. But the topper of it all is that the house while I was asleep went around and came up with cash for him to get smokes. WHAT???!!!!!!! Here I am stressed out of my mind trying to take care of everyone running myself to the ground have no life because I have to deal with everyone elses schedule and going broke stressing how to do all of this and everyone went and bought him smokes... Am I the only one that sees this as bullshit??!! Lets add that he doesn't even have the courtesy to leave me one knowing that I am out.
Yet today I am expected to take everyone to work go get them and also take him to visit (on my gas btw.) And I am not suppose to be upset.
Just remember when trying to help others out......
HELPING HANDS EQUALS SORE TOES!!!!!!!!
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